FINDING YOUR CORE SELF

FINDING YOURSELF – BY LISA FRANCES JUDD

 “I hate my job!”  “There is no time for me” “I feel something is missing in my life”

Working as a Spiritual Counsellor for many years I have come across many different people with many different life experiences.  However, there is just about always a ‘common thread’ and that thread is that most of us are still struggling to find more meaning, fulfilment and purpose in our lives.

The unfortunate thing is that most of us still believe that this type of fulfilment and meaning will come from external things such as money, a big house, a nice car, a good job, fancy clothes and jewellery etc.

As I have said many times, these material things are great to enjoy and life without much money can be pretty tough.  Along my life’s journey I have been there too.  Remember though, they are just things to enjoy – They do not represent WHO YOU ARE.   

If you believe you ARE your material possessions, that you ARE your job, that you ARE your external appearance, you WILL UNDOUBTEDLY be ‘disappointed and unfulfilled’.

Even so called ‘successful people’ can be unfulfilled and here is why!

How many times have you seen, heard or read about some very wealthy celebrity who is absolutely miserable!  So miserable, that they turn to drugs, alcohol or petty theft which just exacerbates their feelings of being ‘worthless and useless’.  Yes, deep inside, these people still believe that they don’t deserve to have such an abundant life.  With all their fame, fortune and adulation, they are missing THEMSELVES.  How sad.

Do you have a real relationship with YOU?

If you are feeling dissatisfied with your life, or if you feel as though something is ‘missing’ you may want to consider what type of relationship do you have WITH YOURSELF?

We are constantly being pulled outside ourselves in daily life with our jobs, the media, family, responsibilities it is so easy to get ‘off course’.

Your inner compass always points the way!

The most accurate compass is our own inner wisdom and that always resides within YOU.  So when we are spending too much time ‘outside’ ourselves, we will naturally feel lost or confused.

The more connected you are to your CORE of inner knowledge, wisdom and experience the more linked to your true values, needs and passions and the more life takes on a deeper sense of meaning and purpose.

Tips to Getting to know your Core Self

Here are a few ideas to help you befriend your true inner self and tap into your vast inner knowledge:-

KEEP A JOURNAL – Sure you have heard this before.  Do you do it?  Call it a Journal or a Diary; it is a powerful way to keep in touch with your inner self.  Just write something, every day, to get a conversation going with yourself. 

KEEP A DREAM LOG – Your dreams can reveal a lot about your inner self.  Dreams can help your sub-conscious to ‘speak’ to your conscious mind.  Dreams are not just ramblings, they contain jewels of insight.  The more you pay conscious attention to your dreams the more you will dream because your sub-conscious will see you paying attention to its messages.

CREATE A SELF DISCOVERY GROUP – Invite a small group of good friends who are also interested in self-discovery to regularly meet and share thoughts and feelings that each of you has discovered.  Another way to do it is to connect with like-minded people on Social Media Platforms.  There are many sites and pages and groups where you will find people searching for the same thing.

DEDICATE TIME EACH DAY TO YOUR SELF DISCOVERY – Every day, make time to meditate or read spiritually inspiring books.  Write a letter to GOD if you like in your journal/diary.  Light a candle and sit quietly simply breathing deeply. Even if this is just for half an hour a day – make yourself and your self-discovery a priority in your life.

KEEP YOUR PROMISE TO YOURSELF – When you commit to these practices, make sure you ‘show up’ for it!  Remember, these things can make you feel uncomfortable or even a bit bored at first, but with dedication you will see the benefits and start enjoying your alone time.

WANT TO KNOW MORE AND SPEAK TO LISA?    

I am here to serve YOU.  If you have ever considered Coaching for yourself or you would like to know more about how I can Certify (train) YOU to become a Katapult Enterprises Certified Coach in your chosen niche area/s contact me now at the CONTACT PAGE on this website www.lisafrancesjudd.com/contact  I look forward to meeting YOU soon

COMMENTS ON THIS BLOG ARE WELCOME

We are here in this world to WAKE UP and become conscious of our TRUE SELVES.

Who are you?

The first things that will spring to mind when asked this question are obvious.  “I am a Mother/Father”  “I am a woman/Man” “I am a husband/wife”  “I am a banker, accountant, shop keeper, sales person, business owner etc…..    These things are true to your known personality but the bigger questions is….

Who are you REALLY?

 In each of us resides an Ego Self and a Spiritual Self. The Ego Self is the ‘I’ that we identify ourselves as being separate from others.  It is unconscious and totally absorbed by itself and it’s needs.  There are many differing views on Ego in Psychology and I can only speak from my own understanding based on study, life experience and years of self-analysis.  I believe that the Ego is necessary in life in that it defines who ‘I’ am in a basic worldly way, but it is not ‘who I really am’ and it is not a permanent part of my Core Self.  The Ego Self is based on illusions and transient things (I own, I have , I am, I take, I control) and it is terrified of ‘dying’ and being ‘nothing’, because behind the Ego Self’s bravado it ‘fears’ (and rightly so) that it is not all powerful and important. 

The Spiritual Self

The Spiritual Self is our Core Self, it is connected to each of us and the whole of creation.  Whether you are conscious of it or not you ARE connected to everything and everyone on a spiritual level.  This is worth thinking about when you see the suffering in our world – as we are connected to the larger spiritual family (collective) we influence our world – good and not so good.  Where there is pain internally there will be pain externally.  Where there is love internally there will be love externally.    The Spiritual Self is ALWAYS moving towards love, healing and self realisation (conscious awareness and understanding).

The message here is to WAKE UP and become conscious of how you are contributing to love or to pain in our world.   If we as a collective group of beings are to evolve, we need to become conscious BEYOND the EGO Self and understand how we are all connected in the great web of life.  How??? Develop your WITNESS Self!

Develop your Witness Self!

Some of you reading this Blog will be saying… ‘what is a Witness Self?’.   My definition of a Witness Self is that it is purely an OBSERVER of your Ego Self.   A developed Witness Self will not judge you and your choices and reactions/responses, it will simply consciously observe, just watching, completely detached from emotion or outcome or whether you are right or wrong.  Just so I am very clear, this is not the voice of the Critic Self (which is part of the Ego self).  The Critic Self is be biggest judge and jury you will ever come across!

If you are a student of Self Development, you may be understanding my message here.  If not, I will advise you that the inner Witness Self is only developed through self-examination and practising conscious awareness of yourself, your behaviours and your thoughts.  You MUST be willing to let go of the belief that the false separate nature of the Ego Self is real and all there is.

The Witness Self will be your best friend in that it will give you honest unbiased feedback.  When you have clearly developed this ability, to ‘observe’ your own reactions, unconscious programs and childish behaviours (Ego) you can detach from the emotion of it and come back to the NOW where you are consciously re-connected to your mature Spiritual Self.

EXERCISES IN WITNESS DEVELOPMENT

What daily practice can I do to help me develop a Witness Self? 

Meditation

Meditation and taking silent time out to just be with yourself and ‘Witness’ your inner thoughts and feelings.  Even if it is just 10 minutes a day.  Get used to and acquainted with the ‘silent Witness’ in between the thoughts and images that come up.  Become conscious of how that ‘Witness Self’ feels to you.

Journal or Diary

Keep a journal and write down your thoughts and feelings each day.  Then review as if you are ‘Witnessing’ the journal from outside yourself.  What do you understand now about your behaviour and thoughts?

Consciously step outside yourself

When the Ego Self is chattering away in it’s normal negative, self important way.  Stop momentarily in your mind and step outside of the Ego chatter.  If this was another person saying these things to you what would you think about them?  Chances are you would tell the other person to stop or go away!   I like to tell my clients to ’put their witness on their shoulder’ and check in with it when ‘stuff is going on’ in your life and in your head.

WANT TO KNOW MORE AND SPEAK TO LISA?    

I am here to serve YOU.  If you have ever considered Coaching for yourself or you would like to know more about how I can Certify (train) YOU to become a Katapult Enterprises Certified Coach in your chosen niche area/s contact me now at the CONTACT PAGE on this website www.lisafrancesjudd.com/contact  I look forward to meeting YOU soon

COMMENTS ON THIS BLOG ARE WELCOME

The greatest gift that you can give another is the gift of your attention – it is a human need to be heard!

By Lisa Frances Judd – International Master Certification Coach

Listening is the key to creating harmonious relationships

Most of us probably think that listening is just ‘something we do’ when we are spoken to.  Since we have been listening to others since birth we are quite confident that we are good at it.   However, listening has many levels and real quality listening is very different to passively listening to someone.  True listening is a skill to be learnt.

Just because we listen, does not mean that we actually hear!

Do you think that listening is a passive thing?  That you are simply the receiver of information that is being spoken to you?  This is not true.  Each of us comes to the ‘table of conversation’ with our own attitudes, beliefs and emotions.   The bottom line is that we are not coming into the listening experience as an empty vessel!

It is very easy to: 

• Pre-judge the other person and the opinions of that person who is speaking by our past experiences with the person, topic or even the way they ‘look’ to us.
• Bring our own judgements about what is right and wrong to the listening experience.
• Be affected by our current ‘mood’.
• Be affected by our own thoughts, distractions and challenges.

Pre-judgements colour your listening ability

Whether you are consciously aware of it or not, you are most likely to judge the person who is speaking to you.  This basically means that you are hearing their words and the meaning of their words through a filter of your own experiences, attitudes and past.

I know that in past conversations I have thought some of these things myself:

“This guy is sooo boring”  “She never gets to the point”  “She/He doesn’t like me” “I just don’t have time for this”  “She is like a broken record”  “He thinks he knows it all”  “I already know that” (this one is a BIGGIE!).

You can learn to come to the conversation with great listening skills

Even though we all have pre-judgements and will continue to have them, you CAN LEARN to put them aside and develop great LISTENING SKILLS!  The solution is really quite simple but will require you to be dedicated to practising it every day until it becomes an ‘organic’ skill (it starts to come more naturally to you).

Here is an Exercise in Listening Practice =)

1.     Think of a person you especially LOVE OR ADMIRE.  List in your mind or on a sheet of paper, all the positive qualities you see in them.  Then, taking the same person, list all the qualities that, in YOUR opinion, are negative.

In the next few days meet or talk with that person on the telephone and be very consciously aware of HOW you are listening to them.

2.    Now, think of another person that you believe at this moment in time, YOU DO NOT like particularly.  Again list all the qualities that you see as the reasons why you do not like them.  Then, taking the same person, list all the qualities that you believe to be POSITIVE about them (come on, you know there are some!).

Make a time to telephone that person, consciously thinking about their POSITIVE qualities and why you once liked them a lot more.  Simply tell them that you were “thinking of them and thought you would give them a call and see how they are.”  With your POSITIVE INTENT actively listen to them as they speak.   Do you hear the meaning behind their words?  Does the conversation now start to flow?

The lesson is:  If you accept people, without pre-judgement, for who they really are inside, your relationships with them will become much more enjoyable.

In this world there will ALWAYS be people you prefer to be with and listen to over others – that is just ‘human nature’.  Learning to drop the pre-judgements with every person you encounter however,  will allow you to be more peaceful, more loving and more tolerant and, of course a much better listener.  Great listeners are popular people! Everyone has a story and everyone just wants to be ‘seen’ and ‘heard’.

WANT TO KNOW MORE AND SPEAK TO LISA?    

I am here to serve YOU.  If you have ever considered Coaching for yourself or you would like to know more about how I can Certify (train) YOU to become a Certified Coach in your chosen niche area/s contact me now at the CONTACT PAGE on this website www.lisafrancesjudd.com/contact  I look forward to meeting YOU soon

COMMENTS ON THIS BLOG ARE WELCOME

Who looks back at YOU in the mirror of your Self???

Blog by Lisa Frances Judd…

PEOPLE ARE FACINATING CREATURES IF YOU TAKE THE TIME TO WATCH THEM

Have you ever been somewhere and started noticing people around you behaving in certain ways and wondered WHY they are doing this or that?

I often like to study human nature this way.  Sometimes it is a conscious decision to sit and watch people around me over a quiet cup of coffee and other times, like yesterday, it is just being in a place and seeing an interaction that got me thinking.

I was in Sydney city yesterday with a close friend and my husband.  We all wanted to do different activities in the city – my friend wanted to visit the Art Gallery where the Chinese Warriors were on display (my husband and I had already seen it), my husband wanted to go photograph nature in Sydney’s Botanic Gardens and I wanted to wander uptown to Pitt Street Mall (the heart of Sydney Shopping).  So we all took off to do our own thing for a while.

As I walked through Hyde Park into the city centre, I could not help but notice a boy with his Mother and older brother walking past.  The boy was about 11 or 12 and he was poking his Mother in the arm.  When she ignored him and kept walking and talking to the older brother, he did it again and again til she literally pushed him away from her.  At that point the boy’s body became stiff and he curled his hands into fists.  I could feel his absolute rage at his Mother in that moment.

Continuing to walk along and ignoring her son, he felt ‘forced’ to poke her one more time, with a smile designed to ‘disarm’ her.  Again he was rejected and in desperation, he threw his arms around his Mother.  She just kept on walking while he was dragged along clinging to her, still desperate for her to respond.

All this boy really wanted was to be acknowledged.  He wanted to be ‘really seen’ by his Mother but she just did not get it.   She did not understand that to simply smile and hug him for a moment was all he needed.

ISN’T THIS HOW WE TREAT OUR INNER SELVES?

This observation prompted today’s Blog because it typifies how our inner self tries to speak to us over and over, while we just ignore it and push it away, distracted by other outside things.

Sometimes the way it tries to get our attention is not necessarily a pleasant experience.  Especially if we in the habit of constantly pushing it away – it will get angry (like the young boy) in attempt to break through to you.

If we push it away enough times, our inner self will create an event that gives us what I like to call a ‘God Slap’ e.g. retrenchment, divorce, depression, illness or even accident to get our full attention.

The inner self of most people is buried under layers and layers and layers of social conditioning, rules and beliefs taken on from our parents and our society.  We are encouraged right from a young age to look outside ourselves for all our fulfilment.  Like the woman at Pitt Street Mall I walked past yesterday that had bag after bag of designer stuff, but still she looked utterly miserable! 

YOU CANNOT BUY HAPPINESS!!!

You will never find peace, happiness and true fulfilment through outside things, people or events.  Of course we all are entitled to enjoy our lives with nice things, friends and pleasant activities, but the happiness you derive from this is transient, fleeting and not really true inner happiness.

HOW DO I ‘SEE’ AND CONNECT TO MY INNER SELF?

The first step is to look!  Yes turn your eyes inward and look at yourself, warts and all.  It’s OK, because none of us here in human form are perfect and we are on a journey toward self-awareness.  Don’t let your self-criticism and fear stop you.

Secondly, when you do look at your inner self don’t be consumed by self-criticism when you see that there are aspects of yourself that could use a ‘tweak’ (or maybe a complete ‘makeover’).  That will only let your ego self say “see don’t look in there, it’s not nice” and encourage you to turn away again in search of the next piece of stuff or external experience you can find to keep yourself distracted and out of touch with yourself.

Thirdly, develop the ability to look at yourself as an observer.  Let me explain…  It’s like you are the Personality you know and are familiar with, you also have an Inner Self – which holds all your true beauty and uniqueness (your core self) and to see your whole self without self-criticism you need to step back and develop your Observer Self.  The Observer Self allows you to look at your own inner reactions, emotions and beliefs in a totally unbiased way.  It’s almost like being someone else looking in at you – just watching and recording what you observe.

SELF OBSERVATION CAN BE LEARNED

Uncritical self-observation is very different from critical self-observation in that you have to learn how to do it, just like any other skill you develop.  

This is just one of the skills you will learn during Co-Active Coaching sessions with me.  Like any new skill a Teacher is required to guide you until you can clearly see the contents of your inner world and see where any changes need to be made yourself.  You do have all the answers you will ever need.

When you develop this Self Observation Skill, you will not be afraid to look at your inner self anymore. You will love yourself in new ways that only Self Observation and understanding can bring you and you will calmly ask yourself questions you have been afraid to ask e.g. Who am I? Why am I afraid? Who is really afraid? How can I step over my fear and find my confidence?  These are real questions – straight to the inner self – no avoiding, no distractions – just Self Honesty with non-critical Observation.

WANT TO KNOW MORE AND SPEAK TO LISA?    

I am here to serve YOU.  If you have ever considered Coaching for yourself or you would like to know more about how I can Certify (train) YOU to become a Certified Coach in your chosen niche area/s contact me now at the CONTACT PAGE on this website www.lisafrancesjudd.com/contact  I look forward to meeting YOU soon

COMMENTS ON THIS BLOG ARE WELCOME

Are you honest?

Honesty - we all think we are, but are we really?

Are YOU really Honest?

Firstly, I wanted to say that I am discussing honesty more from a deeper, spiritual context today, rather than the “Do I look fat in this dress?” type of dishonesty you may use to not hurt another’s feelings on a superficial level.  I am also not saying that this type of dishonesty is right either, however, maybe, sometimes it is better to stay silent or just make someone feel OK, rather than the stark cold truth (e.g. “Yes, you do look fat in that dress.”).

We all expect to recieve honesty from the people we interact with, especially our family and friends.  When we discover that people have been dishonest with us, we usualy react with dissappointment or anger, saying things like, “he /she let me down” or “I’ll never trust him / her again”.   No one likes dishonesty and anyone who believes that living a dishonest life is OKis only deceiving themselves, hurting others and creating more negativity and bad Karma in our world.  Most people know when they are being dishonest because their internal ‘honesty meter’ will make them feel uncomfortable.  It is not pleasant to lie or be lied to and the more you do it the more you will on an inner level NOT TRUST YOURSELF!

Self Honesty is the biggest challenge, but the greatest reward!

So we have covered the basics of dishonesty and how it can affect you and the people around you. 

What about SELF HONESTY?  How honest are YOU with YOURSELF?  Do you try to fool yourself into believing something you are doing that is not healthy for your mind, body and soul is OK?  Be honest here – we all do it every day.  From simple things like continuing to partake in self-destructive habits such as smoking, excessive alcohol, gossiping and nasty talk about others behind their back or winging and blaming others, to drinking too much alcohol, telling ourselves we are happy with our life, marriage, job, social network etc. where we are know we are clearly not- self dis-honesty touches us all. 

Face Your Weaknesses

As spiritual beings we are perfect and whole. As human beings we all have weaknesses and short comings. There are no exceptions and if you are born and going about human life, then you have some aspects that need working on or you would not be here. Honesty is going to make sure you face up to these weaknesses, so that you can take the necessary steps to overcome them, because that is what we are really here to do.

If you are not not careful and very conscious, your self development / spiritual work can often be derailed by your shortcomings. The human traits of procrastination, laziness, narrow mindedness, etc., can all easily disrupt and hinder your movement towards self awareness and realisation. The first step in combating these conditions, is to be honest enough to admit you are affected by them.  With conscious awareness comes the ability to choose to change.

Face Reality

How is your life REALLY?  Not the image of your life you so badly want others to think, but the actual state of your life and relationships?  Only facing up to the truth, honestly, awakens us to what needs to be changed in a positive, constructive way.

Now we are starting to get into the deeper levels of how honesty actually helps us grow into a more positive, passionate and purposeful being.  If you watch your ego in action carefully, you will notice that you spend enormous amounts of energy building and sustaining false images of yourself.  How you are seen by your friends, family, co-workers and neighbours can all be affected by self dis-honesty.  Truth is we all do this some time and it is a waste of precious energy and a wast of your precious life!

The answer to preventing all this waste of energy is simple, just choose to be honest.  You will speak your truth from the heart with compassion and honesty.  Maybe some of your friends, family, co-workers and neighbours won’t like it at first but you are being who you really are and the people in your life who truly love you for who you are will respect you for your honesty.  The others will fade away to play their dis-honest games with other people – let them.

Are you living an ‘Authentic’ life ???

How are you feeling right now?

When you are not living your life in an authentic way, you will find yourself feeling dis-connected inside, incomplete, as if there is something missing.  You will also find yourself saying one thing and then doing another – there is little consitency with what you think and do and you may also feel somewhat confused or unclear about where your life is heading. 

Are you avoiding yourself?

In this state, most people will be doing a lot of things to ‘avoid’ that feeling of emptyness or dis-connection.  In the extreme, they can turn to alcohol or drugs or some other form of ‘addiction’ to temporarily avoid the pain, or most often, they throw themselves into their current work or other daily activity so that they remain so BUSY that they block out how they are really feeling and tell themselves ‘I’m OK’. 

In your own life, you may experience this dis-connect as just ‘going through the motions’, feeling ‘mentally and emotionally dull’, trying to live up to other people’s expectations (spouse, partner, boss, friends, co-workers) rather than doing and being who you really want to be.  Living like this can be very energy draining and most people will end up depressed and sometimes even ill because they are ‘depressing’ their true selves.

Choose the ‘Authentic’ life!

The ‘Authentic’ YOU lives a life that is in tune with your passions and purpose in this life rather than living to uphold an image of how you ‘should’ be or what you ‘should’ do.

Your authentic self does not care what you do for work, or where you life, or how much money and prestige you have.  Your authentic self lives inside you – it’s your core or spiritual self and is made up of your innate skills, unique talents and inner wisdom.  It will show itself to you in the things you love to do rather than through what you believe you are supposed to do.

Choose to break free and grow!

Moving from the ‘false’ self to the ‘authentic self’ and way of life can be a challenge.  Having someone with you, who has done this themselves and can help navigate the way and teach you the skills you need to unlock your real potential and re-connect with your real self makes the journey easier and keeps you committed and on-track with your goals.

Lisa Frances Judd, International Master Certification Coach, says, “I know that you already have all the answers you will ever need deep inside you.  It’s like mining for gold, our Intuitive Co-Active Coaching sessions will support you and boost your confidence.  I’ll shine the light, you take the pick and we both walk into the tunnel to your core.  You will learn essential skills that will enable you to re-connect with your Authentic Self.   Once you have done this, the positivity, passion and purpose for your life becomes clear and you will develop the energy and focus to create the life you really want to be living.  I know because I have made that journey and I know that YOU can too.”

3 Girlfriends Celebrating

This positive, fun Original acrylic painting is 30″ by 30″ in size. Painted on acid free canvas, is sealed with a matt finish and is ready to hang.

The three friends, or are they sisters? are painted in my favourite quirky style. Lot of detail in this painting, the green and white checked tablecloth, the delicious foods and drink and of course, the glamorous girls.

To inquire on this painting, contact me via http://lisafrancesjudd.com/contact/